In Memory of Robert (Bob) Wake
Bob Wake, playing in the 2019 FINA World Masters in Gwangju, South Korea passed away as a result of a heart attack. Blue Thunder and the rest of the USA Water Polo family shares condolences with Dee and the rest of Bob's family. Tributes and sharing about Bob are below.
Swimming World Story and Tribute by Michael Randazzo
Eulogy by Hillary (Bob's daughter)
Dad was born in Burbank, CA on January 9, 1949 to Robert and Virginia Wake. He grew up in Los Altos, California with his 3 sisters and 1 brother, whom he loved very much. He raced go-karts on the golf course paths, swam and played water polo and golf, and worked at a candy shop part time. He started flying lessons at age 15 and during his Awalt HS days he worked for a mortuary and his job was to fly the plane for people who wanted their ashes scattered at sea. One time his seat mate (a first timer helping out) thought you had to open the bag and literally scatter the ashes, which resulted in ashes flying all throughout the cockpit, covering them and everything else inside. He attended San Jose State on a water polo scholarship, and then played on the 1968 winning water polo team in the national championships. During college he was a live astronaut test dummy for NASA/Ames Research and went through all the experiments of endurance that the astronauts had to do. He joined the Marine Corps flight school and became a Vietnam War Fighter pilot and then was part of the airlift of civilians out of Vietnam at the end of the war. He said the closest he ever came to being in a dog fight was passing a North Vietnamese fighter jet and all he had on his F4 was a camera. When asked if the other plane engaged him at all he admitted that he thought the other guy was just as scared as he was. As a marine stationed in Hawaii he was required to do physical fitness every day, but he hated running. So he left the hangar early in his PT shorts, ran along the runway to where the beach was, body surfed for about an hour, and then jogged back. Everyone thought he could run for forever. As a pilot he was particularly proud to be Carrier Qualified and enjoyed the thrill of taking off and landing on aircraft carriers. As a kid I didn’t really understand how amazing that qualification was (I mean, he’s just my dad; isn’t this normal?), but I started to understand better when I once told some young men who were enlisting about my dad’s abilities and they literally bowed down and worshipped me for being his daughter, begging to be introduced to him. At one point he held the record for most hours in flight in the F4. After leaving active duty he finished his 20 years in the Marine Corps Reserves. He continued to pursue his love of aeronautics by flying for the CIA, Hughes Air West, Flying Tigers, and Fed Ex. He flew the “Ark” for FedEx and transported a whale, pandas, and deer monkeys. Dad has a deep sense of patriotism, honor, service and wasn’t shy about promoting those qualities. He loved history, both in study and travel and I had great fun discussing the finer and lesser known points of history with him. He joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during his first year of the military and honored those covenants unashamedly. If you know dad you know his fascination of elephants and perhaps you’ve seen his amazing collection of model airplanes. I wonder now if Dumbo was his favorite Disney movie. He would say his best decision in life was when he married my mom, and I’d have to agree. The moment he saw her he fell in love and teaspoons were never safe again. (Explain teaspoon moments). Though it took several attempts, when he did finally convince her to marry him he hopped in his car in California, drove straight to Tennessee to pick her up, and married her in Mendon, Nevada on his way home. He introduced her to the restored gospel and later baptized her and they were sealed together in the Oakland temple. Together they traveled the world and raised 4 kids, gained 3 amazing in-laws whom he treated like his own, true children, and proudly watched 7 grandkids join the family. If you had the patience he could talk about his family for hours.
******
Despite all of these accomplishments, when I think of my dad I think of three specific qualities: family/friends, selfless service, and generous love.
Family/friends-
Selfless Service:
Sentimental, full of love:
My dad had his quirks, like driving down to get the mail on the riding lawnmower, wearing corduroy pants, making “awful waffles” for breakfast, or waiting until the last minute to apply the breaks in traffic (which we always attributed to his aircraft carrier landing skills). There really weren’t many things my dad needed improvement on, but I do recall one that now makes me chuckle a bit. He always had this mentality of “suck it up, buttercup” and struggled to understand why people let their limitations hold them back from achieving anything they wanted (typical marine). Just before his passing he was hiking in Japan with Rob’s family and hurt his knee. He had to use crutches and had only just begun walking on it tenderly before the water polo games began. He shared in a FB post about how he finally understood the limitations of a broken body and would from now on have more compassion for others in these types of situations. I thought to myself, “Wow, dad, I guess you’ve learned it all.” But, as in every calling of life, once we learn what we need to know we are released from that calling and move on to another. Dad had done so much good and had learned everything he needed to in this life and he could only progress if he moved on.
There are only two comforting things about his passing: 1) knowing that someday in the future we’ll be reunited again, and 2) until then I can witness these top notch qualities continue on in my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and in my own children.
Bob Wake wasn’t just a former NASA employee, FedEx pilot, beekeeper, or owner of the Rose and Crown in Hawaii. He wasn’t just a home improvement specialist, marine, temple worker, water polo player, golfer, world traveler, or Vietnam Veteran. He was so much more than that. He took the most honorable callings in life and magnified them to the fullest- he was an exemplary husband, father, brother, son, friend. He was the kind of person who would see that something needed to get done and make sure it got done. He selflessly worked to help others through this crazy path we call life, serving more and better than anyone else I know, without complaint, without seeking reward, and without waiting to be asked. My brother, Brad, put it best when he said “the best way we could ever honor dad‘s memory is to be as faithful as we can to this gospel of Jesus Christ that he brought us all into.” It would be dad’s greatest joy to be able to greet us all once again in the eternities, so let’s not let him down, Capeesh?
Dad was born in Burbank, CA on January 9, 1949 to Robert and Virginia Wake. He grew up in Los Altos, California with his 3 sisters and 1 brother, whom he loved very much. He raced go-karts on the golf course paths, swam and played water polo and golf, and worked at a candy shop part time. He started flying lessons at age 15 and during his Awalt HS days he worked for a mortuary and his job was to fly the plane for people who wanted their ashes scattered at sea. One time his seat mate (a first timer helping out) thought you had to open the bag and literally scatter the ashes, which resulted in ashes flying all throughout the cockpit, covering them and everything else inside. He attended San Jose State on a water polo scholarship, and then played on the 1968 winning water polo team in the national championships. During college he was a live astronaut test dummy for NASA/Ames Research and went through all the experiments of endurance that the astronauts had to do. He joined the Marine Corps flight school and became a Vietnam War Fighter pilot and then was part of the airlift of civilians out of Vietnam at the end of the war. He said the closest he ever came to being in a dog fight was passing a North Vietnamese fighter jet and all he had on his F4 was a camera. When asked if the other plane engaged him at all he admitted that he thought the other guy was just as scared as he was. As a marine stationed in Hawaii he was required to do physical fitness every day, but he hated running. So he left the hangar early in his PT shorts, ran along the runway to where the beach was, body surfed for about an hour, and then jogged back. Everyone thought he could run for forever. As a pilot he was particularly proud to be Carrier Qualified and enjoyed the thrill of taking off and landing on aircraft carriers. As a kid I didn’t really understand how amazing that qualification was (I mean, he’s just my dad; isn’t this normal?), but I started to understand better when I once told some young men who were enlisting about my dad’s abilities and they literally bowed down and worshipped me for being his daughter, begging to be introduced to him. At one point he held the record for most hours in flight in the F4. After leaving active duty he finished his 20 years in the Marine Corps Reserves. He continued to pursue his love of aeronautics by flying for the CIA, Hughes Air West, Flying Tigers, and Fed Ex. He flew the “Ark” for FedEx and transported a whale, pandas, and deer monkeys. Dad has a deep sense of patriotism, honor, service and wasn’t shy about promoting those qualities. He loved history, both in study and travel and I had great fun discussing the finer and lesser known points of history with him. He joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during his first year of the military and honored those covenants unashamedly. If you know dad you know his fascination of elephants and perhaps you’ve seen his amazing collection of model airplanes. I wonder now if Dumbo was his favorite Disney movie. He would say his best decision in life was when he married my mom, and I’d have to agree. The moment he saw her he fell in love and teaspoons were never safe again. (Explain teaspoon moments). Though it took several attempts, when he did finally convince her to marry him he hopped in his car in California, drove straight to Tennessee to pick her up, and married her in Mendon, Nevada on his way home. He introduced her to the restored gospel and later baptized her and they were sealed together in the Oakland temple. Together they traveled the world and raised 4 kids, gained 3 amazing in-laws whom he treated like his own, true children, and proudly watched 7 grandkids join the family. If you had the patience he could talk about his family for hours.
******
Despite all of these accomplishments, when I think of my dad I think of three specific qualities: family/friends, selfless service, and generous love.
Family/friends-
- talks on the phone, catching me up with everything (Rob/family in Japan, the kids accomplishments of swimming and academics, how tall/smart/handsome/beautiful they’re growing up to be, Kim’s amazing homemaking talents and how she was a great support to Rob in his career as an airforce dentist; Brad- loved helping on boat, going sailing, amazed at his schooling, being all adventurous with hiking and river rafting, hard working, graduating firefighter school; Wimp with her clinic and personal clients, working with Mason on their condo, telling me about their yard and how amazing their dogs are, despite not wanting to admit he loved the pups; Patty, Jay, and Kathy and how they’re making changes to their house, golfing with Kathy, her new job; and all the other family and friends, some of whom I didn’t even know- he was amazed and proud of you all). I could rely on him to keep me in the loop as we’re all going different directions and have so much going on and it’s difficult to stay in personal touch with everyone. I could depend that he would let me know how everyone was doing, hear about their accomplishments, and learn how to help them in their struggles.
- He taught his kids the meaning of hard work and looked to be a father before a friend. He did the hard parenting stuff so we could one day make him proud, but he also knew how to have fun. Each of us kids can think of at least one time he begged us to stay home from school so he wouldn’t be lonely. Or perhaps he checked us out of school early to “get our eyes checked” at the movies or “get our coordination tested” on the ski slopes.
- Eternal families meant everything to him: thanks to the gospel, he knew it was possible he could see us all again and made sure to live in a way that would ensure our family could be reunited in heaven. He regularly attended the temple with mom while we were kids and set that example of taking your spouse to “dinner and a movie” and then became a temple worker when he retired. He took his temple shifts very seriously and wouldn’t let anything distract him from that assignment.
- Dad was a collector of friendships. One of those was Bruce Dickinson, the lead singer for the heavy metal rock band Iron Maiden. Bruce was also a pilot. They were talking one time and dad mentioned his English heritage and Bruce exclaimed “You are not Mr. Wake, you are Lord Wake” dad explained that we don’t live there so he has never pursued it. Bruce was adamant and presented the necessary information to be submitted to the queen. Of course it all was signed and approved with much fanfare. So they are officially “Lord and Lady Wake of Warwick and Devonshire”. Mom just rolls her eyes and says, “Brother and Sister Wake will do.”
Selfless Service:
- most, if not all, of the people who met him will be able to think of a time when he helped them in some way. Maybe it was building them something in his shop, giving them a car, teaching them skills, giving away plane tickets or hotel reservations, sharing his personal life lessons, letting you use his FedEx account to ship something, or just being a listening ear. Perhaps he brought you a pie he “baked” himself, snuck candy to your primary kids in church, shared his amazing stories in Sunday School class, or took you to baseball or football games. He might have sat with you in the hospital as you said goodby to a loved one. He was so generous that he let my 15 year old son, who had never before driven a car, drive his Porsche before he even had his permit (though, in fairness he mistakenly thought Alex had one). Whenever I came home to visit he was always working on some type of project for someone else. I remember him dressing as Santa and my siblings and I as his little elves and visiting other families in the ward with Christmas gifts. One Christmas when we were all adults and too old to dress as elves he said all he wanted for Christmas was for us to put together a Christmas for another family. Christmas was his absolute favorite, with Disney coming in as a VERY close second. Our yearly vacations were Disney centered and I remember him telling me stories about how, when he was in high school, he snuck over the fence one evening after closing and spent the night in the jungle book ride area.
- Yet he hated attention. He didn’t like being in pictures, didn’t enjoy being smothered in hugs and kisses, and didn’t seek accolades. He quietly went about his business and gained satisfaction with the knowledge that he had touched a heart and life. Us kids didn’t know about much of his life’s accomplishments until we became adults. He just didn’t brag about his life, but spoke of it matter-of-factly. When he retired he invited us all to celebrate with him in Hawaii and took us to the Hawaiian base to show us where he used to live. None of us believed we’d get on base since he had been out of service for several years, yet when he showed his ID to the gate guard he was instantly saluted and welcomed and was even offered a tour of the base, which he declined (he knew exactly where he was going). After driving around the base he decided to show us the beaches on the other side of the airstrip where he spent most of his free time when stationed there. As he pulled up to the gate at the airstrip we all tried to convince him they wouldn’t let him through- this is an active base. He flashed his ID again and the guard instantly saluted and then profusely APOLOGIZED- not for declining his request to cross, but for making him wait for an airplane coming through.
- He hated putting people out, so would rarely ask for help, but no one could be more appreciative when help was offered. He spoke often of the generosity of those he knew and was constantly in awe of the love and kindness shown to him.
- He loved sharing stories and lived his life like a great adventure. He truly took Elder Holland’s advice to heart when he said, “Don’t wait to live. This isn’t a rehearsal; this isn’t a dry run; this isn’t a pre-performance routine. This is it. This is real life. Don’t wait. Savor every minute.” If we were given options for this earthly life I could see him choosing this exact way to graduate. “Hmmm... could I do it playing water polo? And if possible, I only want the love of my life there... how about we make it somewhere away from home... South Korea? Perfect!”
- He often told me of the people in his life and how he admired them for their strength and determination despite their trials. He admired many and despised only ideologies that prevented us from seeing each other as one eternal family.
- He found joy in travel and discovered ways to serve in each area he visited. He created the Wings Worldwide Foundation to facilitate mom’s desire to go on humanitarian trips, made all of the arrangements for these dental trips to take place, and joined her on many of them just because he wanted to be with her as much as possible. Yet another example of how much he loved my mom and did all he could to make her happy. And we can’t forget the treasures he’d always bring home for us. It didn’t matter that we grew up and left home; we’d still receive a little something from each of his trips. Christi and I have a marvelous collection of dolls from around the world because of him. He found the greatest joy in surprising us and making us happy.
Sentimental, full of love:
- if anyone truly knew my dad they’d know that while he tried to pull off a gruff, grouchy demeanor he was really as sentimental as they come. When we could think of a really great present for him (which isn’t easy to do for the guy who has everything from a Porsche to a NASA spacesuit sitting in his garage), he would take some time looking it over and softly say, “That’s really neat.” If he said that when you gave him something you know you hit it right. “Neat” was his way of complimenting and “really neat” was the highest compliment.
- There was nothing he wouldn’t do for his family, and if you weren’t family you soon would be. I grew up with many “aunts” and “uncles” that have no direct relation to our family line, and how blessed we are to have had that example of treating each other as true brothers and sisters.
- It is not surprising to me that his death was a result of a heart attack. No earthly body would be sufficient to hold all the love he had for others. He simply cared too much.
- My mom is his life. We siblings always kinda joked that there was no way dad could survive if mom died first. He didn’t do anything without first finding out mom’s plans to see how he could arrange his schedule so as to spend as much time with her as possible. Mom learned that if she told him she needed to swing by the store on the way home he’d offer to go for her so she could get home faster, and often timed it so they arrived in the driveway together. There was a time after 9/11 when they were going on a trip together and mom got stopped at airport security because of an elephant themed diaper pin she had sentimentally kept in her purse. Airport security confiscated the pin and when dad saw how upset she was for losing it he marched back to airport security, flashed his CIA badge, and demanded the pin back. Of course, they complied. The only time I can remember dad getting REALLY mad at mom was when we were vacationing in Florida and mom got a henna tattoo and led dad to believe it was real. Once he found out it wasn’t he admitted it was a really good prank, but still made it clear that he never wanted mom to get a real one.
- As hard as it is on us for him to leave so soon, I think we can all agree that he would’ve been a miserable old grouch if mom had the gall to advance to heaven before him. I’m sure at this very moment he is preparing a beautiful new home for the two of them.
My dad had his quirks, like driving down to get the mail on the riding lawnmower, wearing corduroy pants, making “awful waffles” for breakfast, or waiting until the last minute to apply the breaks in traffic (which we always attributed to his aircraft carrier landing skills). There really weren’t many things my dad needed improvement on, but I do recall one that now makes me chuckle a bit. He always had this mentality of “suck it up, buttercup” and struggled to understand why people let their limitations hold them back from achieving anything they wanted (typical marine). Just before his passing he was hiking in Japan with Rob’s family and hurt his knee. He had to use crutches and had only just begun walking on it tenderly before the water polo games began. He shared in a FB post about how he finally understood the limitations of a broken body and would from now on have more compassion for others in these types of situations. I thought to myself, “Wow, dad, I guess you’ve learned it all.” But, as in every calling of life, once we learn what we need to know we are released from that calling and move on to another. Dad had done so much good and had learned everything he needed to in this life and he could only progress if he moved on.
There are only two comforting things about his passing: 1) knowing that someday in the future we’ll be reunited again, and 2) until then I can witness these top notch qualities continue on in my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and in my own children.
Bob Wake wasn’t just a former NASA employee, FedEx pilot, beekeeper, or owner of the Rose and Crown in Hawaii. He wasn’t just a home improvement specialist, marine, temple worker, water polo player, golfer, world traveler, or Vietnam Veteran. He was so much more than that. He took the most honorable callings in life and magnified them to the fullest- he was an exemplary husband, father, brother, son, friend. He was the kind of person who would see that something needed to get done and make sure it got done. He selflessly worked to help others through this crazy path we call life, serving more and better than anyone else I know, without complaint, without seeking reward, and without waiting to be asked. My brother, Brad, put it best when he said “the best way we could ever honor dad‘s memory is to be as faithful as we can to this gospel of Jesus Christ that he brought us all into.” It would be dad’s greatest joy to be able to greet us all once again in the eternities, so let’s not let him down, Capeesh?